Therapy for Children

Or is it just Coaching?

Children are 'learning machines'. They take in information and absorb it like a sponge. They observe, listen and feel, all the stuff going on around them. Being a 'learning machine' is both a great thing, and a not so great thing. This information is what goes into making them the people they are becoming. As this information is coming into a mind that isn't yet fully 'on-line', they sometimes make errors in their processing of this information. These processing errors can result in what we might consider 'bad behaviour'. It can also manifest in anger, a lack of confidence, bed-wetting, reluctance to go to school and all sorts of other issues.

Isn't it just that my child is being naughty?

Let's face it, young children believe that they are the centre of the universe. Their young minds don't really understand that there is a great big world out there, that they know little about. So picture this... on any given day, their school teacher may be having a bad time, having just been berated by the Headteacher for not getting a report out on schedule. The teacher goes back to class, and being in a bad mood, now takes it out on the pupils in some way. Little Johnny, not understanding the finer points of relationships, just hears that he is stupid if he gets his 2x tables wrong, and believes that it must be true. This can create a negative loop in which they get caught leading to feelings of anger and frustrations and spilling over into family life in some many ways.

Clearly, I just made this scenario up, though it is based on what any one of us might experience as a child. It is the kind of situation that can have lasting influence on the way we think and feel about ourselves. In addition to other experiences in life, this, over time can lead to negative and / or unhelpful behaviour developing in children.

So do all children need therapy or coaching?

You might get the impression that I think that therapy for children is a necessity to help them develop through childhood. I don't actually believe that there is a need for children to be 'in therapy' as such, but it can be a useful thing to have sometimes, to help coach a child through a difficult time and to teach them resilience for future events.

If you believe, as I do that all behaviour has a positive purpose or intention behind it, then a child's unconscious mind is working to achieve something positive for them by having them behave in that way. It's often about feeling protected, safe and secure. Helping children to get the positive intention, in a better way than the old negative behaviour, can start to improve things for them. As they feel happier and more able to work with their emotions, so the whole family can benefit. So having someone who can speak with a child at a level they can understand, can be enough to start guiding them towards that.

Why bring your child to see me?

Working with children is something that I have done quite extensively over the years. I have two grown up children of my own. This helps me know a little about the difficulties that can occur within a family. When I'm working with children, I adapt my approach to fit their age and needs. It may be that we spend our first session with a child, drawing pictures together, and talk about (seemingly) nothing in particular. In actual fact, it's about building rapport. Once that happens we can get working to help build their strengths, resources and confidence in their own abilities.

If you would like to have a chat with me to find out how I might help your little one, please do get in touch, with no obligation, so we can work out what might be best for you and them. I look forward to speaking with you.

phone: 020 8144 0315
mobile: 07813 126048