I have had a number of discussions recently with clients and their difficulties around taking responsibility for their own behaviours/decisions etc. It stems around where their locus of control is, either externally or internally.
At the moment there is a great trend towards letting the Universe provide – ask, and it shall be given you. The trouble with this way of doing things is that the locus of control is external, ie it lies outside of you.
I prefer to think that the Universe may provide things – and it may not, but I don’t have to sit and wait for it to happen. I can be doing much to help things happen for me in all areas of my life. This gives me an internal locus of control – I’m in charge.
Now, I’m not saying the things always go the way I would like them to. I’m a fellow struggler through life, the same as everyone. So, of course, there is a downside to having an internal locus of control – who can we blame if it doesn’t go the way I want?
Well here’s the thing. I could try and blame others for my faults and failings, couldn’t I? Afterall, it then gives me every reason to continue making mistakes and not taking any responsibility. It’s someone else’s fault then.
However, I choose to take responsibility for both my mistakes, and my successes – they are mine too. And that’s the up-side, isn’t it.
But I also choose to see mistakes, not as failings, but as learnings. As far as I’m concerned the only mistakes are the ones we don’t learn from. And I intend for my whole life to be a chance for me to learn whatever there is for me to learn, that means I progress.
So, where are you going to put your locus of control? Is it outside, giving someone else the power over you? Or are you going to take responsibility, have an internal locus of control that gives you the power over your own path?
The Universe might provide, but you could be a long time waiting if it doesn’t.