Top Ten Stress Beating Tips

These are just a few of the things that I might suggest to a client that come to me to alleviate stress or anxiety. Of course, we would be doing work together within our sessions that would go much further than these tips alone could. If you, or someone you know might benefit from a little stress reduction, please feel free to pass these tips on to them.

1 Where’s your ‘Safe Place’

Visualisation is a wonderful tool, as the mind can’t distinguish between what is imagined and what is actual! It’s why we can wake from a nightmare in a sweat and it feels so real for a time. Try this: Close your eyes and imagine going to the safest, most relaxing place that you have been to. It may be somewhere you have been before and know well, or it may be a place you could just imagine being – it doesn’t matter. Just spend some time, just as long as you want, being in that place and seeing, hearing and feeling everything that makes it such a safe relaxing place to spend some time. While you are doing that you can imagine yourself doing anything positive you might want to do or feel or see or think. Take your time to really enjoy your safe place. After all, it’s you special time and place, and you can make it whatever you want it to be, whenever you want to.

2 Don’t Forget to Breathe!

We all know how to breathe by default, of course, but are you doing it in the best way? When we are stressed or anxious, we naturally breathe very high, shallow breaths. However, what we do know is that it’s almost impossible to be anxious, whilst breathing deeply at the same time! So with that in mind, whenever you are feeling anxious or stressed, concentrate on breathing from deep down in the diaphragm – count the in-breath for a count of 7, and watch the tummy rise, hold for a few seconds before counting the out-breath for a count of 11. It may take a bit of practice, but really concentrate and do it for as long as it takes before you are feeling calm and relaxed again. Keep at it, and you will soon get the hang of 7/11 breathing. 

3 And What About Exercise?

It’s not all about going to the gym, or pounding the streets in your bright pink spandex lycra, leg warmers and trainers (or is that just me, again?). Anything more than doing nothing is something. So how about taking the stairs instead of the lift or escalator, or walking to the shops instead of getting the car out. You might even consider sex as part of your exercise routine and see how much fun working out is then! Just the simple act of moving around, stretching your body and generally loosening everything can make a big difference especially if you are hunched at your desk much of the day.  

4 Speak Kindly to Yourself

Many people swear by positive affirmations – short, concise positive statements that focus the attention on what you want. So, an example of a positive affirmation might be ‘I am able to deal with whatever comes my way’ or ‘I feel calm and relaxed’. You decide what sounds right for you and repeat it to yourself whenever you need to hear it.

5 Get Tapping

Ever heard of EFT? Emotional Freedom Technique is a bit like acupuncture but without the needles! You tap with the index and middle fingers on certain pressure points on the upper body and it is great for relieving or even eradicating many negative emotions. It is something that anyone can be taught in a very short space of time and I often teach to my clients. Once learned, it can be useful for all sorts of things.

There is also a short cut in EFT, which is especially good to alleviate stress and anxiety. Try this when next feeling anxious or stressed: using the index and middle finger of one hand, rub gently on the bony section directly under the middle of either one of your eyes. If you are rubbing in the right place, you should be able to feel a small indentation in the bone. In a short space of time you should notice the anxiety/stress subsiding. 

6 Why Me?

How often do we hear people complain that they don’t deserve something that has happened in their lives – ‘What have I done to deserve this?’. This ‘victim mentality’ only serves to increase the feelings of stress and suggests that we are helpless to change a situation. If we focus instead on being proactive – on what we can do rather than what we can’t, we completely turn around the ‘woe is me’ situation into something that you can feel much more in control of. If you don’t like the way things are going, stop wallowing in self-pity and find ways to do things differently. After all, if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got!

Try this exercise: On a piece of paper, write down a list of the things that cause you to get stressed. Now go through the list and put a line through any of the things you can’t change. Next, take what’s left on your list and write strategies to do things differently. Stop worrying about the things you crossed off your list because if you have no way to control it, it’s fairly futile, after all - so stop worrying!

7 Learn how to say ‘No’ 

This is something that many people have a problem with – we just feel we can’t say ‘No’ for fear of upsetting someone, but it is a sure-fire way of getting yourself seriously stressed out. It is impossible to please all of the people all of the time, so be more realistic about the things you are able to do, and be honest about the things you can’t.

8 Downsize your caffeine intake 

If you drink too much coffee, tea or fizzy drinks, you could have an excess amount of caffeine running through your veins! As it is a stimulant, it may be a good idea to restrict your intake to something a little more moderate. Try switching to decaffeinated versions of your favourite drinks or changing to an alternative that is caffeine free. Be warned though - wean yourself off gradually over a couple of weeks or you may find yourself getting flu-like symptoms as you withdraw!

9 How about a bit of heavy petting!

That got your interest, didn’t it? Research has shown that people who have pets tend to have lower blood pressure than those who don’t. It is thought that the act of stroking your pet for just a few minutes helps to relieve stress and so lead to lower blood pressure. If buying a pet seems a little extreme, how about visiting a friend who has one. Who knows, you might even think about borrowing a dog to go for a walk and getting a little bit of exercise in the process (see No 3 above J ).

10 When all else fails – pretend!

Research has shown that the way we hold ourselves; our posture or facial expression, are not only an indication of how we are feeling, they can actually affect how we feel too. So next time you are feeling ‘bad/down’ in some way, try sitting or standing like a person who would be feeling happy/calm/relaxed (or whatever you would rather be feeling). Hold your body in the way you would if you were feeling the way you want; hold your head up; smile (go on, force yourself!) – whatever you would need to do that would let others know that you feel the way you want to. Just pretend for a moment that you do feel that way, and notice how long it takes before you actually do start to feel like that. You might surprise yourself!

 

If you want to have an informal chat about how we might work together to help you cope better with the stresses in your life, please contact me without obligation to discuss your needs further.